Most Homeschoolers Are Asking the Poor Questions... Which Are Leading to the Destinations They Don't Want...
...and Their Daily Challenges Are Just
Symptoms of this Deeper Problem
(This conversation is continued from 'Tune' Your Homeschool, and is answering the question "How do I help my child follow the right educational path that will ensure their success in the 21st century?")
Have you noticed what the most common questions homeschoolers ask -- and are asked?
No matter if it's in online forums, co-ops, or support groups...
...the questions and concerns sound vaguely the same:
Do you recognize what the problem is with the questions they're asking and the concerns they have?
Do you see that these are all just 'symptoms' to a bigger, underlying issue?
Maybe not.
Because they might be some of the same questions and concerns you have...
...and the fact that you are having them means you're still dealing with 'symptoms' and haven't found the real 'cure' yet...
...it's difficult to recognize 'the bubble' when you're in it.
(I'll explain the bubble in a minute.)
Let's see if this can shed a little more light:
This!
Or how about this quote from Alvin Toffler [additions are mine]:
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write [or do geometry, biology, or spelling], but those who cannot [be self-directed to] learn, unlearn, and relearn."
This is truly one of the MOST important skills you can teach your children and students...
How to 'tune' their instrument.
Because what good is the 'best education' in the world if your children have a broken mindset?
What good are they if they know all the information in the world, but are miserable, anxious, or depressed?
Or they have all the skills necessary to change the world, but have no motivation?
Who cares what you CAN do if you never feel like doing it?
All because their focus was on 'school' and 'assignments' and they never learned how to 'tune' themselves on a daily basis.
One of the MOST important things you can do with your home education is to learn how to start your days right.
See yourself as an instrument, and 'tune' yourself every morning.
And when your 'little instruments' wake up, teach them to 'tune' themselves (even if those 'little ones' are now teenagers... it's not too late).
Our most important job as a parent and education mentor is to teach our children the skills they need to live a happy and fulfilled life.
When you do that, you set them on a path that leads to the destinations you REALLY want for them -- which ultimately includes WAY more than grades, curriculum, tests, or diplomas.
When You've Chosen Your Path, You've Chosen Your Destination... Aka How to Avoid Train Wrecks and Other Nasty Things
Why does 'tuning your instrument' each day matter so much?
Because how you live each day is how you live your life.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing" -- Annie Dillard
Each day is establishing habits -- good or bad -- of living.
Whatever habits our children establish on a daily basis are setting them on a path that leads to a specific destination.
After working with youth and parents for 22+ years, my husband has seen lots of 'train wrecks'...
Phone calls or emails from distraught parents whose teen has done something drastic or devastating.
Without fail, these are the results of (inadvertently) choosing the wrong paths (through small daily actions)...
...the long-term result of not 'tuning their instruments'.
And it's not their fault. They were never taught how.
Habits (warning signs) of distress, overwhelm, and anxiety lead to the 'train wrecks' of depression, panic attacks, and suicide.
Habits of distraction, diversion, and amusement (bread and circuses)...
...lead to the train wrecks of addiction, chronic irresponsibility, and failure to launch.
Most parents (especially, but not only homeschoolers) are often so focused on their child's academics and curriculum...
...the things many schools and parents mistakenly worry about most...
That they miss the warning signs of the impending train wrecks.
They wrongly believe that as long as assignments are turned in...
...and grades are good...
...and tests are passed...
...and they're on track to graduate...
Then all is well.
But this is a HUGE mistake.
HOW your child learns MATTERS...
-
Do they love it or hate it?
-
Are they engaged or apathetic?
-
Are the self-motivated or have to be nagged & reminded?
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Are the improving their skills and developing mastery?
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Do they pursue their passions or interests? Or are too busy 'doing schoolwork' for things that matter to them?
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Do they understand WHY they are learning what they're learning? Does it have relevance and context in their personal life?
The answers to these questions are MORE important than what they are learning and if they are 'on track' to graduate.
(A misnomer anyway because there is no graduation from education -- at least there shouldn't be, not in the 21st century.)
What is SIGNIFICANTLY more important are the skills and habits they develop while learning --
-- habits which have to be intentionally taught because they're not automatically learned --
-- especially when there is too much focus on grades, requirements, curriculum, tests, and assignments.
One destination is VERY different from the other...
Which is why you have to be INTENTIONAL about choosing the right path.
"There is a sharp trade-off between what can be tested easily on a large scale, and what's important in life."
